365 days of thoughts


(Short, random thoughts, edited daily)

I WRITE LETTERS TO YOU. AND THIS IS WHERE THEY STAY.

          ———-

Ang dami ko nang isinulat tungkol sayo, pero dapat pala hindi na ako sumusulat pa, dahil hindi ko alam kung paano tutuldukan ito, tulad ng bawat pag-asam ko sa tuwing makikita ko ang bawat ngiti mo.

          ———-

Hindi na kailangan pang pumunta sa mga lugar upang balikan ang mga alaala. Sadyang maraming alaala ang bumabalik kahit saan man itapak itong mga paa.

          ———-

Akala ko ay nakaliligaw ang daanang ating tinahak, ngunit sadyang mas nakaliligaw pala ang iyong mga bakas. Sapagkat kagabi lamang ako ang dahilan ng iyong bawat hakbang, ngunit ngayong umaga, iba na ang iyong kasabay.

          ———-

Ang manatili sa iyong tabi ay nasa pagitan ng isang kahilingan at isang kasalanan.

          ———-

Kahit kasinungalingan mo paniniwalaan ko, basta’t mula sa labi mo.

          ———-

Natututunan ko nang mahalin ang tunog ng yapak ng aking mga paang naglalakad papalayo sa iyo.

          ———-

Kung ikaw ay isang panaginip, mas gugustuhin ko pang hindi na lang matulog.

          ———-

Wag mong hanapin yung gamot sa lugar na kung saan ka nasugatan, hindi ka gagaling doon.

          ———-

Di ba sabi nila, ang buhay ay parang roller coaster, minsan nasa itaas, minsan nasa ibaba, paikot ikot. Pero alam mo, ang pinakamasayang bahagi ng roller coaster eh yung pababa.

          ———-

Ito na ang dulo ng paglalakbay ko patungo sa iyo.

          ———-

Handa akong maligaw sa direksyong patungo sayo, marating ko lang ang destinasyon mo.

          ———-

Ikaw ang paborito kong kwento. Paulit-ulit kitang binabasa, kahit alam ko na ang ending.

          ———-

Napagtanto mo man na hindi ka para sakin, ako’y patuloy pa ring maniniwala na hindi ako inilaan para sa iba.

          ———-

You want me until my emotions are inconvenient for you.

          ———-

I don’t want your apologies. I want you to stop giving me reasons to need them.

          ———-

Sometimes, the person you want the most is the person you’re best without.

          ———-

You know you are doing well when you lose the interest of looking back.

          ———-

Love is not all about rainbows, butterflies, sun, and moon. Sometimes it’s all about darkness, wounds, regrets, and pain and how you would still see it as an art.

          ———-

Don’t kill your sleep for someone who killed your dreams so many times.

          ———-

The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much.

          ———-

I mess myself up and expect someone else to fix everything for me.

          ———-

What you’ve done to me was wrong but it was right for my future.

          ———-

I still believe in happy endings – but not a fairy tale of you loving me for a lifetime, but an ending of me being happy for you with someone else.

          ———-

We all wanted peace, but we’re the same ones who keeps on creating our own wars.

          ———-

When you naturally have a healing aura, you attract a lot of damaged people. Having them in your life could drain your energy. Remember, it’s not your job to heal anyone.

          ———-

We often give the wrong people the right pieces of us.

          ———-

Sometimes, people victimize themselves so they don’t feel guilty for the things they did to you.

          ———-

You have to meet people where they are, and sometimes you have to leave them there.

          ———-

And in the end, we were all just humans, drunk on the idea that only love could heal our brokenness.

          ———-

Our memories are staying longer than we actually did.

          ———-

How can I move on, if I keep on making memories with you?

          ———-

You’ll always hold a piece of me that I can never get back.

          ———-

Hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have.

          ———-

You can’t keep dancing with the devil and wonder why you’re still in hell.

          ———-

I used to build dreams about you.

          ———-

Why do we always end up being abandoned by the people whom we all just wanted to call home?

          ———-

You sometimes think you want to disappear, but all you really want is to be found.

          ———-

Don’t play me like a song you listen to only when you’re bored.

          ———-

Be with someone who will reflect your light, instead of taking it all for themselves.

          ———-

Progress is singing to the same song I used to cry to.

          ———-

Isn’t it ironic to find peace on someone who’s bringing chaos to your mind?

          ———-

We are mosaics of our worst selves and our best selves.

          ———-

Loneliness was the reason I held on to you, and holding on to you was the loneliest thing I’ve ever done.

          ———-

He gave me a box full of pain. It took me months to understand that this, too, was a gift.

          ———-

When you left, I thought you’d broken me. But actually, you just broke the cage I was living in.

          ———-

You could’ve prevented me from crying, but you just watched how tears fell from my eyes.

          ———-

Stop setting yourself on fire for someone who stays to just watch you burn.

          ———-

I’m that risk you’re not willing to take. I’m your promise you’re willing to break.

          ———-

I knew, I deserved you. Yet you always convincing me that I still deserved better.

          ———-

It’s funny how you turned exactly how you promised you never would.

          ———-

She’s living the reality I could only dream about with you.

          ———-

This is the start of something new for you, and a dead end for me.

          ———-

Ayoko na maging waiting shed haha, yung sisilong lang siya sayo kasi umuulan, wala siyang dalang payong. Sana maging tahanan naman ako, gusto ko marinig mula sayo na, at the end of the day, uuwi at uuwi pa rin ako sayo, no matter what happen.

          ———-

Yung utak ko parang upuan, hindi dapat nababakante yan. Kasi once na hindi umupo yung mga talagang dapat na nakaupo dyan (hal. passion, interests ko), dun mag-uumpisang magsiupo yung anxiety ko, sila na ang ooccupy niyan.

          ———-

Pinaka-gusto kong pagkakamali ko sa buhay? Ikaw. And if I’ll going to make another mistake again? I want it to be you again. And again.

          ———-

Kaya pala favorite subject ko yung History, kasi ang hilig ko magdwell sa nakaraan hahahahaha.

          ———-

Naiisip ko, okay lang, ineexpect ko na yung worst na mangyayari, pero kumakapit ka pa rin dun sa maliit na hope, and that’s what fucked me up. That’s what kills me.

          ———-

Dati sabi ko nun, siya yung missing piece ng jigsaw puzzle ko. Akala ko kukumpletuhin na namin ang isa’t isa. Pero hindi pala, para sa ibang puzzle pala talaga siya ano.

          ———-

Sinabi ko, sasamahan kita through your darkest times. Hinawakan ko ang mga kamay mo. Pero nung nakakita ka na ng liwanag, binitawan mo ako at iniwang mag-isa dito sa dilim.

          ———-

Alam mo, parang buong buhay natin umiikot sa mga numero. Nung mga bata tayo we aim for high grades. Ngayon may hinahabol tayong quota, ngayon iniisip natin kung ilan/magkano ang perang kikitain natin. Ngayon big deal ang bilang ng likes at followers sa social media.

          ———-

Alam mo, yung love, parang sa Law of Energy lang yan. Akala mo nawawala, pero hindi, nagbabago lang ng form yan.

 

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