Daylight πŸŒ…


A short story from reputation and lover. [NSFW]


You’re so gorgeous…

They were having parties with common friends and she already had a crush on him, she used to hate him because of this feeling. She hated the fact that she couldn’t have him so she started to ignore him and then he had the audacity to touch her hand out of nowhere.

I think he knows…

After that, they started chatting and soon they became friends. Also. there was always a strong tension between them but they were hesitant to talk about it. Well somehow their actions spoke and they did what they had to do.

It’s a cruel summer with you…

They decided that they will become friends with benefits. She told him that there would be no rules in this relationship and they would not fall for each other. It would be an unbreakable heaven because you can’t break something that wasn’t made at the first place.Β 

The problem was that she herself was falling for him but she couldn’t tell him about it, because she thought it would affect their relationship & she didn’t want to lose him. She didn’t want to keep it a secret either just so she can keep him. so she finally said it, as she should.

Isn’t it delicate?

She was unsure of whether he’d like her back or not because her reputation was the problem. She started wondering about if he dreams about her or not.

She was also jealous of him seeing the other girls back at home. She claimed that they couldn’t touch him the way she did. She didn’t want to share him & would always ask him to stay the night with her. She would always pretend that he was hers for the whole damn time.

Only bought this dress so you could take it off…

No one knew about their relationship, not even their close friends. Their friends used to think that they are just friends but who’s gonna tell them that she didn’t want him as a best friend. So they had to stay away from each other to avoid the suspicion, but there was always this tension about when it was going to end so they could do what they wanted to do. He was always trying to see the good side of her.

I rent a place on Cornelia Street…

Now somehow even after her confession, their game was going strong. She rented a place so they can play on. They made many memories there and it was going all good but after some days she felt that she was becoming very serious about this relationship but he was not so serious. She thought he was leading her on. So she decided to end this. She packed her bag and decided to leave the place before he’d even know. She was on her way but suddenly he called from behind and confessed about his feelings.

So call it what you want to…

Finally, both of them confessed, it was all a happy happy relationship and they decided to keep it to private. She asked him if he would run away with her and he said yes. After that they went somewhere and everyone didn’t see her for sometime.

But we were dancing with our hands tied…

Then everyone found out! They started digging about her relationship. She knew it couldn’t go any further. Everything started to fall apart and she had a bad feeling that it’d end. BUT STILL THEY WERE DANCING.

And all at once, you are the one I have been waiting for, king of my heart…

She’s in a very happy place right now. She’s happy that they went from friends to this.

Meet me in the afterglow…

There’s never a perfect happy ending in real life. there will always be complications in every relationship. They’ll have to overcome it with their love, trust and passion.

And now I see daylight…

She has found her real love avoiding all the chaos of a bad reputation. β™₯


36ef83d7f79803607bcb68a8427d8542

April 25th. I am now opening the curtains to see the clearest, brightest daylight after the darkest night.

credits to @repromantics

Tulog na, mahal ko


February 10, 2020. UP Fair Hiwaga.

Pang-ilang UP Fair ko na nga ba to? Ngayon kasama ko sila Lester. I always see performers, such as Reese Lansangan, Bita and the Bottflies, etc. Parang bawat music fest na naoorganize, I was there.

And there was Ebe Dancel. Kinanta niya yung “Tulog na”.

It suddenly hits me. It just comes back, in flashes.

I remember the very first time I was in UP Fair. Though nasa labas lang ako non, wala kasing ticket haha. Si Ebe Dancel din ang tumutugtog. “Tulog na” ang kinakanta niya nun.

I’m there. He was there. Nakaupo sa malaking puno. Nakatingin sa mga bituin sa langit. Magkasamang nangangarap. Kinakantahan niya ako non, then he kissed me on the forehead.

Assurance ba. Na despite sa mga pinagdadaanan namin nung time na yun, everything will be alright. Yun yung mga simpleng bagay na mahirap alisin sa sistema ko. Kaya pag bumabalik. Sumasakit ulit.

That song that used to be sweet, now becomes a bitter memory.

“Sabay nating haharapin ang mundo”, di ba? Tapos biglang, magkaibang mundo pala ang haharapin natin.

“Mamaya, hindi ka na nila kaya pang saktan.” Tapos, sayo pala ako masasaktan.

May mga kantang magpapaalala sayo na di ka pa pala okay. Do these songs haunt you too? May mga pagkakataon ba na iba ang kasama mo tapos tutugtog yung mga ganung kanta tas sasagi ako sa isip mo? Feelingera ko lang.

So this time, nandito ulit ako sa UP Fair, ako na lang pala ang nakabalik.

Tapos sabi ni Lester, “Bat ka umiiyak?”

Sabi ko, “Inaantok ako sa kanta. Ayoko niyan. Tagal naman ng SB19.”

As of this writing, hindi na naman ako makatulog. Gusto ko kumain ng spaghetti 😦

Protected: Cornelia Street


This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Alpha type


SKL: Ni-release ni Taylor Swift ang music video para sa “The Man”. I’ve never been so relate to what’s happening, kasi hey, ganon ang realidad, estado ng kababaihan sa lipunan. Hindi ako nagpapaka-feminist or man-hater pero reality lang tayo dito.

May mga bagay na pag ang lalaki ang gumagawa, acceptable. Pero pag babae, ang daming side comment.

A man getting all the credit for women’s success

Tulad neto, kung makabukaka sa mga pampublikong sasakyan akala mo pagmamay-ari nila. Tapos kapag babae ang ganyan, sasabihan ka, “Kababae mong tao ganyan ka bla bla”

Pag ang lalaki nangongolekta ng babae, ok lang, ginagawang trophy. Pag ang babae ganon, nalelabelan naman as pokpok.

Dads doing bare minimum was celebrated, eh it was your responsibility naman talaga hello??

Women are being used as objects for their pleasure

A man is allowed to react. A woman can only overreact.

Pag ang matandang lalaki nag asawa ng mas bata, normal na lang. Tapos yung babae pa ang nale-label-an na gold digger


Lakas-maka Wolf of Wall Street neto.

Pag ang lalaki ganito, wow ang cool. Ang astig. Pero pag babae ang naging ganyan, negative ang dating. Kaya kita mo nung naging matunog yung pangalan ni Taylor Swift nung 2016? Alam mo ano sabi? “Ayyy pabida, ayyy ang daming alam.”


I would be complex, I would be cool
They’d say I played the field before I found someone to commit to

Pag ang lalaki maraming dine-date, normal lang. Wow ang cool naman nito. Aba, nung ako na yung nakikipag-date, malandi daw ako? Hindi mapirmi? Whut?

And that would be okay for me to do
Every conquest I had made would make me more of a boss to you

Parang masyadong threatened ang lalaki pag nao-overpower ko (feeling ko lang, based on experience), kaya wag kayo mag-aasawa na hindi mo kapantay o mas mababa sayo, in terms of mindset haha. Gurl, you deserve better than that.

They’d say I hustled, put in the work They wouldn’t shake their heads and question how much of this I deserve

When a man calls out his ex, nakakatawa tingnan. But when a woman calls out her ex, nakakaawa tingnan.
When a man writes songs about his ex, nakaka-touch. But when a woman writes songs about her ex, sinasabi ano? Di ka maka-move on teh?

What I was wearing, if I was rude
Could all be separated from my good ideas and power moves

Pag ang lalaki nagagalit, ok lang, nadala lang ng pressure sa work. Pag ang babae nagagalit, nag-iinarte??


Ano na naman ang ipinaglalaban mo? Haha ang nasa isip ko lang, what if one day I’ll do the same What’s it like to brag about raking in dollars and getting bitches and models?

Image sources: Tumblr.

Imahe


Pinagtagpo. Ngunit hindi tinadhana.

Nandito ako sa balkonahe sa hotel na tinutuluyan ko sa Antipolo habang sinusulat ko ito. May writeshop pa kami bukas. Wala akong tulog kagabi kasi I’ve been somewhere else. Pero mag-aalas dose na pala. Hindi pa rin ako inaantok.

Alam mo ba yung 500 days of summer?

Habang nakatambay ako sa 7-11 sa may Concentrix ay nilapitan ako ng isang lalaki. Akala ko wala na siya maupuan, kaya tumayo agad ako at nagsorry. Pero, balak pala talaga akong kausapin neto.

“Hi Ate, do you also work here?”
“Hindi po eh.”

“But you work nearby? Saan ka?”
“Sa QC pa po ako nagwowork.”

“Oh really. You live here no?”
“Hindi po, taga-Cavite ako.”

“Wait what? Then why are you here?”
“?????”

“Dalawang linggo na kitang nakikita rito, you always drink San Mig Apple here. Alam mo bang bawal yon?”
“Alam ko. Kaya nga hindi ko inilalabas ng paper bag eh. Paano mo nalaman?”

“Kasi nga po I always see you here.”
“Ah ganun ba. Okay.”

“Are you lost or something?”
“Lost. Siguro. Charot.”

“Do you need help?”
“Teka, headhunter ka ba? Kakasabi ko lang kanina may work na ko ahh.”

“No. Ang baba naman ng tingin mo sakin.”
“Oyy ikaw lang tong nagbanggit na mababa ang tingin ah. Tsaka bakit mo pala ako kinausap? Anong kailangan mo?”

“I’m curious on why you’re always here the past few days. And, much better if you go to metrowalk, hindi ka malalasing ng San Mig Apple dito.”
“Wala naman akong planong magpakalasing. Pamatid uhaw ko lang to.”

“Oh okay. I’m here to remind you to keep safe. Always. Since you’re not from here naman pala.”
“Ahh. Eh. Salamat.”

“My break’s about to end. Time to go. Ingat ka, bye.”

Nginitian ko, at umalis na siya.

The next night na andito ako, nakita niya na naman ako.

“Oh it’s you again.” Kumuha muna siya ng vitamilk at binayaran sa cashier sabay umupo sa tabi ko.

“Alam mo miss, ikaw siguro ang headhunter ano? Saan ka? Kalaban ka ba? You spying us?”
“Hahahaha grabe ka naman.”

“Bakit nga dalawang linggo ka nang tumatambay dito?”
“Ang galing ah. Pansin mo yun. Well. Wala lang.”

“Imposibleng walang dahilan. Ano nga.”
“Hmmmmm. Alam mo yung kantang The Man Who Can’t Be Moved?”

“Oo.”
“Yun. Yun ang kwento ko.”

“Wait what?”
“Hindi nga lang ako kasing-sipag ni Danny O’Donoghue. Nagtatrabaho pa rin naman ako at umuuwi sa bahay haha. Pumupunta lang ako dito kapag out ko na. Well, yun yung oras ng pasok niya. Kumbaga eto na yung pampalipas-oras ko.”

At dun ko na kinuwento sa kanya ang lahat. Kung paano ako napunta sa lugar na ito. At na-stuck. (Hindi ko na ikukuwento dito, tinatamad ako.) So doon na nag-umpisa yung mahaba naming pag-uusap. Sinasabihan niya ako ng mga cliche na advice sa pagmomoveon and I was like, nope, walang talab. Everyone said that to me. For the first time in a while nag-open up ulit ako sa stranger. Well this wasn’t the first time pala. Kasi dito nga rin pala kami nag-umpisa ng ex ko – Venting out to a stranger. Tapos we ended up as strangers na naman hahahahaha wtf. Natapos na ang break time niya. At naiwan na naman akong mag-isa dito. The next night I was here. I saw him again.

“Hanggang kailan ka babalik-balik dito?”
“Ewan ko. Hanggang sa mapagod ako.”

“Eh hanggang kailan yan?”
“Ewan ko. Basta alam ko mapapagod din ako.”

“Bakit kasi bumabalik-balik ka pa rin dito kahit alam mong imposible na?”
“Malay mo di ba? Posible pa?”

Alam ko napapagod na rin ang estrangherong ito sa mga drama ko. Pero ewan ko bakit sinasamahan niya ako dito. Haha. Hanggang sa mga sumunod na gabi ay dinadaanan niya pa rin ako dito kapag breaktime niya.

Hanggang sa hindi ko namamalayan, bumabalik-balik ako sa 7-11 hindi na dahil sa ex ko. Pumupunta ako para makita ko siya. Narealize ko yun nung isang araw, hindi niya ako pinuntahan during breaktime. Naisip ko, napagod na siguro to sa kaka-rant ko. Nalungkot ako. Lumipas ang mga gabi at hindi na nga siya bumalik pa doon sa 7-11. I’m confused and I don’t even know who was I waiting for.

Hanggang sa isang araw may natanggap akong message request. Galing pala sa kanya. Gulat ako kasi paano niya nalaman ang account ko? Sabi niya kita niya daw sa ID ko. Oh. Then tinanong ko bakit siya nagchat. Gusto niya raw malaman kung ano na ang nangyari sakin. Sabi ko hala buti naalala niya ako. Nalipat na pala siya ng pang-umaga, nakalimutan niyang sabihin nung huling gabing sinamahan niya ako sa 7-11. Bumabalik siya doon pero hindi niya ako matagpuan, kasi nga di ba 8pm pa ako natambay doon. Pero alam mo ba, tinamad na rin akong magpabalik-balik ng 7-11. Eto na nga siguro yung inaantay kong panahon na, Pagod na ako. Finally.

Hanggang sa ayun lagi na kaming magka-chat. Doon ko pa lang siya nakilala ng lubusan. Siya yung laging nagsasabi sakin na iconvert yung negative na pangyayari into a positive outcome, pero never did I know na mas matindi pala ang pinagdadaanan niya. Dumanas siya ng depression.

Hanggang sa hindi ko nga namamalayan, naa-attach na kami sa isa’t isa. Marupok ka talaga girl. Hindi siya sweet na, “Kain ka na po, san ka na po, etc.”, but his mind. His thoughts. Sobrang lalim. Nahulog ako doon. Dun ko ulit naramdaman yung connection na – ‘bago pa lang kayong magkakilala pero you know each other so well’. Is this love? No.

Hanggang sa nagkikita na kami lagi. Kakain sa labas. Matakaw ako kumain pag siya ang nag-aaya. Umiinom. Naglalakad kung saan-saan. We’ve been to Cloud 9 Antipolo. City view. Stargazing. Nangangarap na naman ng sabay, pero walang kami.

“Alam mo, para di ka ma-demotivated, isipin mo na lang yung mga goals mo, yung mga pangarap mo.” sabi niya.
“Wala na akong gana magplano at mangarap eh. Tsaka napaka-imposible naman ng gusto ko.” sagot ko.

“Ano? Yung magkabalikan kayo?”
“Baliw hinde. Alam mo ba, gusto kong maging DJ. Gusto ko gabi-gabi akong tutugtog sa mga club. Gusto ko magproduce ng sarili kong concert, tapos gusto ko lahat ng guests nakikita kong nagsasaya.”

“Ah kaya pala nahilig ka sa mga gig, no?”
“Ah well impluwensiya ng ex ko.”

“O di naman imposible yun ah. Alam ko pwede kang rumaket sa mga ganun.”
“Tsaka alam mo ba, ang pangarap ko talaga eh maging first lady. Kaya ginagalingan ko talaga sa trabaho ko. Kailangan kong umangat sa sarili ko. Para makahanap ako ng katulad ko na hindi lang sarili namin o pamilya namin ang purpose namin. Alam mo ba, bata pa lang ako, ayaw na ayaw ko na kay Imelda. Pero ngayon na-realize ko, I wanted to be like her. Hindi dahil gusto ko mangolekta ng sapatos o magpaparty gabi-gabi sa Malacanang. Ayokong maging plain housewife lang. I have to create my own legacy, not just because I’m someone else’s wife.”

Nung una natameme siya. Tapos sabi niya non, “Kaya nga malabo nang magkabalikan kayo ng ex ko. Di kayo aangat pareho kung ganyan pa rin kayo.”
Tapos nagjoke siya. Sabi niya, “Sakto, tatakbo pa naman akong presidente haha. Halika gagawin kitang first lady.” Tinawanan ko lang siya. Pinagplanuhan na yung mga proyektong gagawin. Sabi ko gusto ko ma-improve yung public transport natin, para yung mga mayayaman, mas maging convenient na sa kanila yung magcommute kesa magdrive ng sarili nilang sasakyan.

Pero alam mo, mas malabo pa yun na mangyari eh. Dahil lahat ng nangyayari, this was all temporary. This summer will sure end soon.
We’re attached to each other. But we can’t be together. Hindi dahil sa hindi pa ako nakaka-moveon. Hindi dahil sa ayoko muna mag-commit at gusto lang mag-play around at lumandi. At hindi dahil sa panget siya kaya ko nirereject. I like him, but..

At age 23, he has a kid. He was married. They went separate ways a few months ago. But he loves his daughter so much that he still have to stay and wait until she turns 7, saka niya kukunin ang custody ng bata. Na-depress siya dahil dito, sa sobrang pagmamahal niya sa anak niya eh ginive-up niya yung future niya. Yung chance na makapag-umpisa ng bagong buhay.

Alam mo sabi niya non, “If only I had met you two years ago, I should’ve marry you instead. I should’ve started a family with you instead. Hindi ka na sana nakilala pa ng ex mo at nasaktan ng ganyan kalala. Hindi na sana ako nakakulong sa sitwasyong ito. Kung nakilala lang kita agad.”

I don’t want to enter the picture at guluhin yung plano niya para sa anak niya. At saka naniniwala ako na baka magkabalikan pa sila ng ex-wife niya, kahit may bago na raw ito. At narealize ko din, kahit magkatuluyan kami, hindi niya matutupad yung pangarap ko na maging first lady, kasi hindi naman kami maikakasal eh. Haha. Wala namang divorce dito sa Pilipinas. Pero di naman yun yung pinaka-reason ko ah. Pero gets mo yun, hanggang kabit na lang ba talaga ako? Paano na yung mga pangarap ko haha. Partially kabit na nga ako ng ex ko. Papayag ba ako na maging kabit in reality?
So yeah. After nun. Nag-umpisa na ang tag-ulan. Tapos na ang panahon ng ‘summer’ namin.

Sayang, it was the best one I’ve never had. Nahigitan ng isang buwan yung isang taon. Sana, sa susunod naming buhay, baka naman pwede na kami. Charot. Pero ano, baka magawan pa ng paraan ngayon. Ah basta. Haha.

Kinalimutan kahit nahihirapan para sa sariling kapakanan,
Kinalimutan kahit nahihirapan, mga oras na hindi na mababalikan.

The end.

Lover


At ngayon nga ay ni-release na ni Taylor Swift ang kanyang 7th album, kasabay ng music video ng title track. I feel so in love haha (aba bipolar ah, parang kahapon depressed shit ka pa ah).

Nakakatuwa kasi yung Taylor Swift na nakilala natin na ‘Queen of Brokenhearted Anthems’, ang babaeng pag nagkaka-bf eh parang nagpapalit lang ng damit, at kung ano pang negative things na naka-incline sa kanya, eh look at her now – mapapa-sana all ka na lang kasi sobrang happy niya na ngayon di lang sa love life eh pati sa career, kahit ilang beses pa siya pabagsakin ng mga kalaban haha charot.

So ngayon pinapakinggan ko pa lang yung buong album, di pa ako makapagdecide kung ano yung top picks ko. Pero favorite ko talaga yung ‘Lover’ mismo kasi feeling ko talaga kasal na sila ni Joe Alwyn, time for her to finally settle down. Ang ganda ng music video. Ganito yung buhay na ini-imagine ko eh, yung future with my own lover. Ang sarap ma-inlove. Sana all ❀

giphy
This is our place, we make the rules
tenor
Can I go where you go?
tenor (1)
Can we always be this close forever and ever?
tenor (3)
And ah, take me out, and take me home.
tenor (5)
Darling, you’re my, my, my, my lover πŸ™‚

Sabi niya sakin, heto na yung masayang buhay at kinabukasan na inaasam mo, nasa harap mo na, pero bakit mas pinipili mo pa rin yung taong binabalewala ka lang? Dahil ba sa tingin ng lahat yun yung tama? Kaya siguro hindi mo makita yung path na para sayo, kasi nabulag ka sa kakahabol sa mali at immature na pag-ibig and all that shit. Paano kung yung happiness na hinihintay mo, yung future na gusto mo, eto na pala? Yung tinatalikuran mo lang?

Yung buhay na pinapangarap ko. Nandito na pala sa harap ko…..

Pero teka, bat nabaling na naman sakin yung usapan eh yung album nga ang topic ng post na to!!

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Lover by Taylor Swift. (link below)

Pero as a fake fan, charot, rep > 1989 > Red > Lover pa rin haha.

Edit:

Nakapagdecide na ko ng Top Favorites ko.

Death by a thousand cuts
The lyrics speaks to my soul. Hindi mo alam na malaking bahagi ng sarili ko ang nawala nung nawala ka. Ganon.

I think he knows
Ang bop neto ah

Cruel Summer
Yung beat niya kadugtong to ng Getaway Car eh. Dapat marelease to as single.

False God
This is dedicated to him char

I forgot that you existed
This is dedicated to my past lover. Charot ulit. It’s just indifference.

Paper Rings
Ang sarap mainlove besh

Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince
Lagi ko tong kinakanta, idk

London Boy

The Man

Afterglow

Mirror


 

 

 

Nagde-daydream na naman ako. 5 years ago, nung unang beses ko tong marinig, nangarap din ako, sana pag ikinasal ako eto ang tugtog. Lahat naman tayo nangangarap na sana matagpuan natin yung other half natin, yung reflection mo. Hindi naman sa kapareho mo ng attitude o personality, pero nagbeblend or complement kayo pareho. Para walang maging conflict, para magstay kayo hanggang sa pagtanda. Sabi nga ni JT –

“One of the most valuable things in a relationship is being able to constantly change and be individual, but look to the other side to the person that you’re with and know that they’re changing as well individually, but somehow you two can mirror each other and be the other half of that world that you both create.”

Kumbaga hindi yung isa lang ang nagbabago, pareho kayong nag-eevolve. Ipinapakita sa music video nito hindi lang yung happy moments ng relationship, pati na rin yung downside – yung mga panahong miserable ka then hinahayaan ka lang niya, which made you think to stay or to leave? Someone can still be your other half, but that doesn’t mean you’ll be happy or in a good place all the time. Bahagi na ng relationship yung mistakes at regrets. May mga tanong tayo na hindi mahanapan ng kasagutan, pero di natin nare-realize nasa harap na pala natin ang solusyon.Β 

“It was easy coming back into you once I figured it out, you were right here all along.”

Umasa ako sa mga naging lovelife ko na sana yun na yung the one. Hindi yung puro pakilig lang at magaling lang sa umpisa. 22 years old pa lang ako pero nasa phase na ako ng buhay ko na kung saan ready na ako mag settle down hahahaha. Gusto ko yung habang bini-build up ko yung career ko, andyan lang siya, bini-build up niya rin sarili niya at hindi masyadong pinaiikot ang mundo sakin alone. Navi-visualize ko na lahat to haha kaya sana this time hindi na ako mabigo. Please.