12. Rejected


Re:Zero. Episode 18. I just realized. This is happening to me now,

“Come and escape with me.”

Dahil sa mga nangyayari sa kanya, ang naisip niyang solusyon ay umalis na lang at mag-umpisa ng panibagong buhay sa Kararagi. Ang dami niya nang failures at paulit-ulit na lang siyang namamatay pati na ang mga kasama niya. So heto na, nagpaplano na sila ng future nila.

“The only path I see is to give up.”

Same sentiments with Rem, siya yung taong hindi ko nakikita na sumusuko agad sa gitna ng laban kaya lagi ko rin sinasabi na keep going. Marami siyang pangarap para sa future niya, at alam kong mafufulfill niya rin yun soon. Kahit sinasabi niya ngayon na heto wala siyang magawa, na ang hopeless niya. He had his time, his freedom, yet walang nangyayari. He hated himself for that.

“If you said you hate yourself, I hope you will know that I know a lot of good things about you.”

Heto na ata yung kasagutan ko sa mga tanong ko sa sarili ko, na bakit kahit na mali, bakit kahit ilang beses niya na akong tinalikuran eh hindi ko siya mabitiwan. So nakikita ko rin ba siya as hero? For melting my frozen heart before?

“That is why I believe no matter how tough life is, even if there is a possibility that you will lose, I will trust you more than anyone in this world. Even if you don’t believe in yourself. I will still believe in you.”

Kahit na talikuran siya ng mundo, ng lahat ng tao, kahit na ang hopeless niya, I still look up to him.

“I want to be able to see her smile. I want to help to build her future. Even if she said that I’m a burden to her, or asked me not to be near her, I still wishes to be by her side. If the future is too hard on her, I want to give her a future where everyone is happy.”

Ngayon ko lang narealize na oh shit, ganito rin pala pinagdadaanan ko ngayon haha (maka-Emilia pa naman ako), ang sakit pala ano. But guess what, tutulungan ko pa rin siya na ma-build yung future niya with her, kasi pinangako ko yun na susuportahan ko lang siya all the way, kahit hindi na ako part ng future niya. Kahit na mas magiging peaceful yung buhay niya na kasama ako, alam kong pipiliin pa rin niya yung path na kasama si Emilia. Di ba. Pero ok lang. I knew it.

Alam ko na ang kahihinatnan ng kwentong ito, pero ayan pinagpapatuloy ko pa rin. Alam kong masasaktan na naman ako ng malala balang araw, pero eto pa rin ang pipiliin kong path – ang alalayan si Subaru at samahan hanggang sa huli.

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