022219


Kailangan ko na itype to kasi after netong araw na to, makakalimutan ko na ang mga nangyari.

I know titigilan mo na yung pagtingin sa mga accounts ko, sa blogs ko, so hindi mo na makikita to. Pero if ever man na makita mo ulit to after ilang years? Months? Weeks? Or days? This is how I feel right now.

Totoo yun, wala na talaga akong nararamdaman. Finally I can say, I can look directly into your eyes without feeling the pain. Sa wakas. Matagal ko nang inasam to. Finally I’m free. Thank you for setting me free.

Sakto no, habang kumakain tayo ng noodles, tumugtog yung All I Ask ni Bruno. Mula nung naghiwalay tayo, ayoko nang marinig yun. Masakit eh, umiiyak lang ako. Pero that time, wala na akong nararamdamang pain. Ok na talaga ako.

Ngayon mo lang naramdaman yung pain na pinagdaanan ko ng ilang buwan. Masakit no? Well at least I’m done with that part. Happy na ako sa current ko kahit medyo one-sided din to.

Pero right after pagbalik ko dito sa office, nakita ko yung message ng girlfriend mo, saying how much she misses you. Shet, bumalik na naman yung sakit. Binasa ko yung convo nyo. Sorry. Pero ni-log out ko na din agad. Ayoko na masaktan pa lalo. Ok na ako eh.

Ngayon pinipilit ko lang isipin na, bored ka lang, gusto mo lang ng kasama kasi malayo siya sayo, kinakausap mo lang ako kapag may kailangan ka, so on and so forth. I have to think of these things para maputol na ng tuluyan to.

I don’t have feelings anymore. Pero pagtalikod ko kanina medyo nag-expect ako na tatawagin mo pa ako ulit.

Ibblock na kita. Kaso nag-dadalawang isip pa rin ako. You have to see all of this. You have to get through this too.

Tsaka sabi mo kalimutan ko na yung existence mo. No, sana di mo ko makalimutan. We’re both strangers before. Hindi tayo pagtatagpuin ng Diyos kung walang purpose. Binago mo yung buhay ko in a good and bad way. Sana may ganun din akong impact sayo. Sana maikwento mo ako sa anak at apo mo haha, kahit as a former friend lang. Na sana sabihin mo, you met someone from facebook, that changed you a little bit. Little nga lang.

Alam mo, ilang beses ka nang nagpaalam sakin. Ilang beses mo na ako tinatalikuran. Pero lumilingon ka pa rin. Bat ka ganyan? Kung dati pag nag-gu-goodbye ka sakin, pag ibblock mo ko, iniiyakan ko talaga eh. Pero ngayon? Wala nang epekto sakin, di naman sa wala na akong pake. Pero sanay na akong naglalaho ka eh. Sanay na akong naaalala mo lang ako kapag may kailangan ka.

Pero alam mo, kahit ilang beses mo pang sabihing paalam, once na mag hello ka ulit sakin, once na mangailangan ka ulit ng tulong, sasagipin pa rin kita. Alam mo naman di kita matitiis eh.

Pag nakita mo to, iplay mo yung CALLING YOUR NAME AGAIN. ok?

And hopefully, this will be the last time I’ll write and post something about you. Mamimiss mo rin to haha.

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6 Responses to 022219

  1. Anonymous says:

    She’s better off without you

    Like

  2. Anonymous says:

    I hate u kayven

    Like

  3. Anonymous says:

    Remember the times we were together,
    Through sunny and stormy weather,
    Thinking about the cliches of us forever,
    But we drifted apart maybe for the better.
    I just wanted you to be happy on your own,
    The person who has broken the hard heart of stone,
    Maybe it’s for the best if we see each other less.
    A bit of space for you to grow,
    But you’ll always be a part of me I hope you know.
    And if you ever yearn for my voices sound,
    I hope one day you’ll be coming back around.
    Even if we’re no longer the same
    I still remembering your name.

    -former beb

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Anonymous says:

    p.s sa youtube link na kinoment ko yung “dulo ng hangganan” pakiggan mo ah πŸ™‚ thanks and im still crying. sobrang bigat ng feelings ko

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Anonymous says:

    also take time to listen to this.

    actually ikaw lang naiisip ko dito as of the moment.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Anonymous says:

    i’ve always been looking up to you pero alam mo what truly hurts me is makita yung mga updated post mo seeing na masaya ka na sa iba well ano ba ineexpect ko? you have your own life, own happiness and own thoughts to begin with i’m just a stranger passing by na lang isa na lang sa mga lurkers sa blog mo but why am i always feel hurt lalo na sabi ni mama kanina saken aba ang swerte ni shaira kung si tristan bukod sa may itsura professional pa tignan well idc sa sinabi nya but what really hits me is yung sitwasyon ko kung titignan sayo na literal na im wayyy out of your leauge and everything sabi mo nga if i need someone to talk with sige nandyan ka pero alam mo there are nights na gusto ko na alisin dito sa puso ko yung part na nandun ka but why? i mean sa ex ko dati kahit 3 years nagawa ko tanggalin sa puso ko yung naging part nya i dont know pero eto yung kasabihan na nasa huli pag sisisi.. i mean kahit man lang sa part ng pagiging friend wala na akong lugar dyan para sayo pero sabihin na nating may times talaga naiisip ko not just when im bored or if shes not around but rather random moments talaga iniisip ko kung kamusta ka na or kung kayo na ba ni tristan ewan but seeing his face or hearing his name hurts me a lot and it really fucking hurts gusto ko na patayin sarili ko para siguro matapos na lang din tong feeling na ganto idk tbh wala ka na dapat iexplain sakin e you’ve done your part you’ve help me a lot you’ve teach me things

    sad to say this but

    its better na lang na sya na lang.

    **im fucking crying rn** kahit na bagong ligo ako
    anyway i may not be your number 1 bf

    at least im your number 1 fan sa blog mo.
    (kahit na di na ako part or i’m now a fragments of your memory, a memory of yesterday)

    take care and i love you
    -phony

    Liked by 1 person

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