011619


Nung nakita kita ulit, walang pinagbago. Kung paano tayo nagkita for the very first time sa MOA nung July 31, ganun pa rin tayo.

… And I know it’s long gone, and that magic’s not here no more,
And I might be okay, but I’m not fine at all …

Nung nakita kita ulit, nakita kong mas masaya ka ngayon sa kanya. Naalala mo ba yung sinulat ko sayo nung birthday mo? Andyan sa frame, nakasabit sa kwarto mo, tingnan mo, di ba sinabi ko nun gusto ko na maging successful at happy ka? Even if it doesn’t include me. Nakikita ko na, mukhang mas ok ka na.

… And I know it’s long gone, and there was nothing else I could do
And I forget about you long enough to forget why I needed to …

Nung nakita kita ulit, nararamdaman ko pa rin yung sakit, hindi ko pa rin pala kayang maging masaya na meron ka nang iba. Bawat galaw nyo, iniiyakan ko pa rin hanggang ngayon. Bawat salitang binitiwan mo noon, paulit-ulit pa ring bumabalik sa alaala ko.

… Maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much,
And maybe this thing was a masterpiece ’til you tore it all up.
Running scared, I was there, I remember it all too well …

Nung nakita kita ulit, mas nakita ko yung mga dahilan at rason para hindi na bumalik pa sayo. Mas malinaw na sakin na wala nang magbabago. Insensitive ka pa rin. Ang cold ko pa rin. Yung mga bagay na ayaw ko sayo, andyan pa rin. Hindi na kita masasagip pa. Hindi rin ako makakaahon pag kasama kita. Pasensya na, mahal kita pero hindi ko na ulit kayang ipagkatiwala ang puso ko.

… Hey, you call me up again just to break me like a promise.
So casually cruel in the name of being honest.
I’m a crumpled up piece of paper lying here,
Cause I remember it all, all, all too well …

Nung nakita kita ulit, pinaramdam mo na naman sakin na mahal mo ako. Alam kong pagkatapos ng araw na to, magpapaalam ka na ulit. Bakit ako pa rin ang sumasalo sayo? Bakit pag sa kanya ginagawa mo ang best mo, pero pag sakin, sinasabi mo na ‘you deserve better’?

… Time won’t fly, it’s like I’m paralyzed by it.
I’d like to be my old self again, but I’m still trying to find it …

Kapag nakita kita ulit, sana huwag ka nang umalis pa. Sana marealize mo na ako yung diamond na naiwala mo. Sana ako yung TOTGA mo. Kahit ilang beses mo pa akong talikuran ulit, kahit ilang babae pa ang ipalit mo, kahit ilang beses mo pa akong saktan, once na magreach out ka sakin, andito pa rin ako. I still care for you kahit option mo lang ako. What’s worse? Hinihintay pa rin kita, kahit abutin ulit ako ng walong taon.

… Cause there we are again, when I loved you so,
Back before you lost the one real thing you’ve ever known,
It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well …

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